where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
