ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
