Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
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It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
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Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize