remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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