You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
