Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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