last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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