So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
