Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
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