We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
