Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
