I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
