I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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