If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
what day is it and did you see me today?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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