just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
