We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
