is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
