chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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