I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
