she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
