alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Randomize
