You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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