either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
