mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
