then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize