I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Enjoy the penises
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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