Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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