Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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