My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so explain again why im purple
no
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
