I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
