How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Everclear isn't food dammit
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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