she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
