Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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