well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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