He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
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I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
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Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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