drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
