i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
