it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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