my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
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The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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