u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
