tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize