How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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