PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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