dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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