think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
