you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
