Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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