well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
