I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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