This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
