I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Randomize
