Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
