We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize