He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
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He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
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I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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