I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
