Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
