never play flip cup with pint glasses
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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