She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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